An Eventful Wednesday

I thought I'd share a story with you, as you might be amused by it...

This is a true story; this happened to me a few weeks ago:

I've always been fascinated with the Episcopal Church. So, I decided to check out Big Name Episcopal Church. I looked on the Church's website to see what time services were held, and noticed that there was a service on Wednesday at 8 p.m. Wednesdays at 8 p.m. are good times for church services for a college student like me.

Wednesday rolled around, and so I went.

I parked my car, and got out. The information online said that the service would be held in the Chapel. The night watchman was there in the parking lot, so I asked him where the Chapel was and how to get there. He pointed me in the right direction.

The gorgeous, tall oak doors squeaked when the opened to a small empty sanctuary. I sat down close to the altar. I noticed that there was a stand covered in the same cloth that the altar paraments were made of. It was too small to be a baptismal font; I figured that it must be an urn.

Soon enough, a few people came in, sat down and introduced themselves. There were three women and two men, plus me, there for the service.

One of the women, after introducing herself, wondered aloud what "that thing in front of the altar" was. The other church members joined in her musings.

One of the men said, "Well, whatever it is, we better move it." He got out of his seat to go and do just that.

I'm thinking, "Uh, you better not." But, of course, I don't say it because I'm a visitor. The priest hadn't arrived yet.

The man gets up to move it.

He slides it a couple of inches.

It tips over, and the urn falls on the floor.

Ashes go flying and are scattered everywhere.

The women shout, "Oh! Oh! It's a dead person!!" and run out into the nave.

The men start up saying, "I'm not picking it up! I'm not touching anyone's ashes!"

All the while I'm just sitting there.

One of the men finally gets up the courage to clean up the ashes. He scooped them up with a service bulletin. He slid the ashes back into the urn. As he put the lid on he said, "It says on the top her name is Barbara!!"

The women come back up close to the altar, and we all laugh until there are tears running down our cheeks.

Then, the priest walked in and we started the service.

Everything was going smoothly until we got to the Confession. The priest said, "Let us now confess our sins against God and one another..." We were supposed to respond by reading the printed confession in the bulletin. But!

The man who tipped the urn over busted out laughing. And then we all started laughing, except for the priest who was looking bewildered. The man then said, "Well we might as well tell her (referring to the priest)". He then looked at the priest and said succintly, "Barbara fell out of her container."

Immediately after he said that, the priest got up and ran out of the chapel. We all sat there laughing for a few minutes. And that was the end of the service.

One of the women said to me as we were walking out of the chapel, "Well, now you have a story to tell your friends."

She got that right.

Comments

[Questing Parson]

Thanks for starting my new year with such a laugh.

[beth]

Wow. That indeed is an eventful Wednesday! Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel better about more minor mishaps in services I've led ;)

[DogBlogger]

What. a. story!

[gavin]

that is super funny. i am sure barbara wanted one last way to cause mischief in the church & you all helped. &:~D

[Frank Logue]

Now that was genuinely laugh out loud funny and a most intersting introduction to The Episcopal Church. I found this post by way of a note from the Questing Parson and I'm glad he sent me. How memorable.

I also enjoyed looking around your pages. I'm impressed. I have a friend at Agnes Scott named Sierra. You two would probably enjoy meeting.

peace,
Frank
The Rev. Frank Logue, Pastor
King of Peace Episcopal Church Kingsland, GA
www.kingofpeace.org

[Mary Beth]

Great to read you!

I hope they got Barbara picked up...swept up?

[Prisca]

That's the funniest darn thing I've heard in ages! Where the heck did the priest go???? Man, there's got to be a good back story to that, too. :)

[SingingOwl]

What Prisca said! Where the heck did the priest go? And why was the urn there anyhow?

[natalie]

my bet is that the urn was there because the memorial service had been that day and she hadn't been interred yet.

as for the priest, i'm guessing she ran out because she didn't want us to see her laughing at the fact that a dead woman's ashes were all over the floor, but that's just a guess!

[revdrmom]

That is really funny...but the priest part of me is appalled that the priest didn't just keep right on going, perhaps after a pointed remark about Barbara :)

[Ann]

This is the funniest visit to the Episcopal Church that I have ever read. Thanks for the laugh.

[Elizabeth]

I'm an Episcopal priest - sent here by a sister cleric - and I haven't had a laugh this good since the time I presided at a funeral in a MAJOR cathedral - except in my case, the ashes didn't show up. UPS was supposed to have delivered them before 5 PM on Friday, but must have arrived after the security guard went home. I didn't know what to say so I began the service with these words, "Well, we all know how much 'Joe' loved this city. He's not here yet. Apparently, he wanted one more ride around the city - even if it was in a UPS truck - before he took his eternal rest." Everyone nodded their head and laughed and we went on with the service. THIS story was WAY more funny. Thanks for the laugh.

[sally]

Love it...I needed a good laugh today!!!

[susan kay]

My favorite story -- not particularily Episcopalian, tho I am -- just about ashes: After my father died I got a call from the folks he used to refer to as "Bake and Shake" (they cremate you and sprinkle in the Pacific) to ask if I had by chance received a box of .... ashes. I explained that I was not at home and that my mail was being held at the Post Office. I later learned from my (very) small town post office that they had been contacted by an hysterical person trying to retrieve of box of ... ashes. Dad finally got to the Pacific but first had a visit to my new home in Colorado.

[sarah]

hi! i'm an episcopal priest in chicago who found your blog via revgalblogpals. i'm also an ASC grad (class of 93, which makes me feel really old!). anyway...loved the story--i literally laughed out loud. this is an amazing blog. thanks for sharing it!
s+

[Julie Nelson]

That is hilarious! I'm so glad that you were all able to laugh about it. Being Episcopalian (and almost and Episcopal priest), I find that there isn' t nearly enough laughter in church! I can't believe the priest left, though. That's very strange - especially in the middle of the service. Very funny. Thanks for sharing the story.

[Amanda Mae]

So, Natalie
1. I'm actually working at an Episcopal church these days, which I find a little ironic since we're both hardcore Methodists usually.
2. This story is hilarious.
3. I, too, wonder where the priest went.

[Jordan Heels]

I'm curious in getting back link on this website. Be advised speak to me personally with the worth. Thank you. http://www.highheeljordans.com/

[Asics Tiger]

My favorite story -- not particularily Episcopalian, tho I am -- just about ashes: After my father died I got a call from the folks he used to refer to as "Bake and Shake" (they cremate you and sprinkle in the Pacific) to ask if I had by chance received a box of .... ashes. I explained that I was not at home and that my mail was being held at the Post Office. I later learned from my (very) small town post office that they had been contacted by an hysterical person trying to retrieve of box of ... ashes. Dad finally got to the Pacific but first had a visit to my new home in Colorado.

[MBT Shoes]

Thank you for the article, I saw after the enlightened, my idea like you, just not good at expression

[Brand Bikinis]

Your composition is very good, hope to have the opportunity to read more of your article!

[Christian Louboutin Outlet]

I remember a few years ago when you could get a steal on a used car. Pretty amazing how fast the market changes, thanks for the info.

[朋 陈]

naruto cosplay form
http://www.webcosplaycostumes.com/naruto-cosplay-c-84.html

[朋 陈]

wedding dresses from
http://www.dresspromgirl.com/

[朋 陈]

http://www.domiclipse.com/domiclipse/web.nsf